Spend any amount of time in a high school or college classroom, and you’ll undoubtedly encounter the ideal student: a mythical being who perfectly balances studies, work, a social life, and adequate rest. Being the antithesis of that student, I nonetheless endeavored to strive for the impossible goal of attaining that impossible goal in college. This delirious attempt at perfection earned me straight A’s, stress, sleep deprivation, and an increase in seizures. While POTS and epilepsy didn’t make my educational goals any easier, I thought time management was the answer. It was a skill I finessed over months of self-discipline and reclusiveness. Unfortunately, financial aid ran out, and my symptoms got progressively worse, diverting my vocational plans to more feasible options. 

Music, art, and understanding people had always fascinated me; it would make sense that I pursue an occupation aligned with those interests. Free from classes and work, it would seem I had suddenly come into possession of a surplus of time. But that assumption was completely false. In fact, accomplishing goals was no longer a matter of efficiently managing time. Instead, from the moment I woke up in the morning, each day became a ruthless test of energy management. 

For me, existing now means carefully calculating every bit of energy I happen to wake up with. A nap is usually required after finishing a meal, because the simple act of chewing fatigues my facial muscles. Transitioning from a wheelchair, standing for even a short while, or lifting something heavier than a couple of pounds can easily drain me completely. Prior to experiencing these symptoms, I was able to go on walks, lift weights, perform household chores, and cook meals. The contrast is difficult to comprehend. For some, it may be difficult to justify someone laying in bed all day. But the truth is, this isn’t laziness. It’s science, and my time management skills need to be repurposed into something far more efficient: spoon management. 

Spoon Theory was first developed in 2003 by Christine Miserandino, a young woman living with lupus, to more easily explain life with chronic illness to others. She explains that each step in the day requires a metaphorical amount of spoons. 

Let’s say you start the morning with 12 spoons. Most people go about their day without thinking how much energy (or spoon) each task will cost, but this will give a better idea of what many living with chronic illness have to manage on a daily basis.

12 Spoons Total

• Get up from bed: – 1
• Brush teeth: – 1
• Get dressed: – 1
• Prep breakfast: – 2
• Manage medications: – 2
  
  It’s now midmorning and there are 5 spoons left for the day. Deciding how to spend them is critical, as tasks that cost more spoons may go over the limit, borrowing from tomorrow’s inventory.
  
• Clean? – 5
• Work from home? – 5
• Get groceries? – 4
• Make dinner: – 3
• Walk the dog: – 3
  
  As you can see, the smallest of tasks can accumulate and leave you with very little energy to complete important items on your to-do list. Poor sleep, aching muscles, nerve or joint pain can also affect how many spoons a task will cost on a given day, meaning no two days look the same even if you have the same schedule.

Spoon Theory has paved the way for patient self-advocacy, self-pacing, and building community. It allows our friends, caregivers, and physicians to visualize and understand struggles that might otherwise seem invisible. 

Learn more about Christine Miserandino’s original story and how she came up with the theory here

I’ve mentioned before how I want to grow this blog, to be a resource for those living with chronic illness, and most importantly, to form a community. You may have noticed a reduction in the number of blog posts over the last couple of months. This is me living the lesson: I’m still learning how to manage my spoons in real-time. I can promise you my commitment to consistency, even if it means adjusting the blog schedule, and I appreciate your support along the way. This community means a lot to me, and I will continue to show up for it, striving to unfold gracefully as promised. Thank you again for reading❤️

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Tell me in the comments:

How many spoons does your biggest daily energy thief take? (e.g., getting dressed, making dinner, taking a shower)